“Hi, I’d like to order an extra coronary with my heart attack, please? Oh, and throw in a pair of saddlebags and a beer gut, will ya?”

This is what you’ll probably end up getting when you order KFC’s newest sandwich rightfully named the “Double Down” sandwich. You’ll most likely keel over after eating one of these or your ass will be double down on the floor. Either one; you pick.

Instead of bread this sandwich uses two deep-fried chicken breasts to hold two kinds of cheese, bacon and the Colonel’s sauce.

Currently you can only get the Double Down sandwich is Providence, Rhode Island and Omaha, Nebraska, where it is being tested. So far this lard-fest is getting rave reviews.

And the calorie content? “Independent labs are estimating that it has around 1,200 calories and over 50 fat grams, based on what’s in the other KFC sandwiches,” says Men’s Health food and nutrition editor Matt Goulding, co-author of “Eat This, Not That: Best and Worst Foods in America.”

“What you’re looking at is a sandwich that has more than half the calories you should eat in a day, topped by a sauce that is no doubt some deleterious mix of oil, eggs and a bunch of food additives. The only thing you’re doubling down on here is waistline expansion.”

KFC’s Double Down sandwich costs $6.99 and it’s slogan says that it has, “so much 100 percent premium chicken we didn’t have room for a bun.” I say “gross!”

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