I know a lot of women have boob envy. We want ‘em bigger, better and more bodacious. With the LARGE amounts of plastic knockers I have the pleasure of seeing on a daily basis I’m totally envious (of the good ones, of course). There’s nothing wrong with having them or wanting a pair of your own. Nothing at all.

With women having boob envy, there’s got to be something equally as envious for guys. After an enlightening conversation with one of my male clients, he pointed out that guys have their fair share of body envy. As much as women want a nice pair of tatas, guys wish they had something a bit bigger, too. And it’s not what you’re thinking.

Can you guess what it is?

Calves! Yeah, I was laughing, too. I never really thought super-sized calves were the prized body part to be had by men. Maybe biceps or shoulders or something upper body-ish. So I surveyed a couple of dudes at the gym and sure enough they too strive for watermelon-sized calves.

If 12,000 calf raises a day just aren’t cutting it for you there are people who pay money to have implants put intro their calves. I was shocked, and slightly unnerved by the thought of it, so I did what we all do when we don’t have a clue…I Googled it.

C’mon, are these guys for real? Have I been fooled all this time by amazing calves in my past thinking they were the result of hard work only to be blinded by the fact that they were fakes? Faux calves? Here’s some cheap advice, buy a pair a 7-inch stilettos and wear them around the house when no one’s looking – Nacho Libre-style. That’ll build some big calves, pride aside.