Halloween is the one day of the year when shy conservative girls break out of their shells and become freak shows wearing itty-bitty, teeny-weeny little costumes that barely cover their butts, slits up to there and 10-inch hooker boots. I think it’s an unwritten rule that says on October 31st it is OK for girls to be half naked and wear the sluttiest costumes they can dream of. French maid…”ooh, but of course”. Slutty nurse…”open wide and say ahh”. Sexy school girl…”teacher’s pet”. You name it. And every year the costumes get shorter, slinkier and more see-through. Hey, I’m not complaining. Just making an observation.

It’s an observation that I find very amusing. Here’s a scenario: You think you know someone but when the company Halloween party rolls around, here comes Jenny from payroll in a scandalous low-cut vampire costume, leather boots and burning red lips. The rest of the year Jenny is probably someone who keeps to herself, puts her hair in a bun, and wears buttoned up cardigan sweaters and trousers. I bet you know someone just like this, or maybe it’s you!

I have a theory. Perhaps the answer lies in a society that brain washes us into believing that naked bodies are bad and that we should pray for the salvation of Janet Jackson and her pasty. Oh, please. Spare me the quotes from the bible. Even though we live in a “free” society we are still oppressed. Hey, in Toronto it is legal for women to walk the streets topless. What do ya think about them apples?

Please don’t feel ashamed of your body. And please don’t feel the need to be a slutty bumble bee for Halloween either. Let’s find a happy medium, shall we?